Much like that semi digested nachos bell grande you had for lunch climbing up from the trenches of stomach warfare, I have returned to the blog-a-sphere. This is more to just keep me honest. A real time record of my mistakes and successes. A check and balance system to remind me that bike racing is important but at the same time keep it in its place. So buckle up and get the barf bags handy because you never know when the cabin is going to depressurize. And here we go:
So where am I? I'm 33, a cat 3, and flying solo. Over the three years since my last post I've become my greatest ally and my worse enemy several times over. To succeed in this sport you have to do that. But knowing when to be which...therein lies the key. This past week was the "River Ride World Championship" as we affectionately call it. That Saturday I was my worse enemy. Often when we think of being a friend to ourselves we immediately think of "kindness" or "comfort." Giving yourself luxuries because, well, "You deserve it." Or at least that's what we tell ourselves. But while that can be true in many cases it can be the opposite of true friendship. A true friend will keep you honest. A true friend will call you to the carpet. A true friend will make you do the thing you need to do even when you don't want to. I did none of those things. Instead I let myself give up. I talked myself out of pushing hard. I came up with a million reasons on why it wasn't worth it or why I was going to fail. I was cold, I was the slowest of those in the front group, I was the smallest, my back hurt, I was hungry, I was bonking. The truth is none of that mattered. Ninety percent of those things are de facto in any race I do including the river ride. The difference is normally I just grit my teeth and pedal harder. And when I do, even if I don't win I'm usually a hair's breadth from success. That's not me beating my chest rather it's true of anyone who pushes themselves that hard. But for whatever reason I just wasn't engaged. Lesson learned, or should I say re-learned Just like everything in life(things more important than pedaling a bike): if it's important to you, fight till your last breath.
So with that said the key word for the 2016 season is "compartmentalization." Mainly the ability to keep life in it perspective place. To not let failure and success bleed over. Had a bad day at work...so what, you can have a good day on the bike. Had a bad workout...so what, use it as fuel to do better tomorrow. Had a good race...so what, you're not invincible. Nothing in this world is the end of the world except the end of the world. And I for one plan on living forever.
This post may be a bit dramatic, but mentally I'm lacing up my boots and getting ready for this next training block. New bike and 2016 goodies should be arriving soon and I'll be doing an in depth review of "chinese carbon frames" which should be exciting. Stay tooned.
